Some travel tips and stuff

Today's post is actually something i have written just after my flight to China, but being busy and all, i sort of forgot about it and just yesterday stumbled upon it. It consists of some travel stuff and just "food for thought".

• When talking to a stewardess, a good line to use is, “Is that a Queensland accent I hear?” A bad reply after the “how did you know” reply, is to state that all Australians have a TWWEEAAAKKKK(a very high screeching and irritating sound) in their accent and Queenslanders even more so. Remember, this is the person that will be serving your food and drinks for the rest of the flight. You might just get some unwanted customers in your meal. At the same time the German next to you looks you in the face and says "you really don't want to get laid".
• You know you are heading for China when the food you eat on the plane is not something you have seen or tasted before. Well, you might have seen it before, but that was when it was running around in your house and garden and you called it, “my pet”!
  
• Always have an extra short, shirt or pants on standby on the plane. You never know when the person next to you might just spill his whole glass of red wine over your white chinos (white South African style pants that I will never wear). Dude, if you can hear me… I have said it before and will say it again, "I am sorry!!!"
  
• Always choose an isle seat. You might not have the good view like the person sitting next to the window, but you will always have close access to the toilet. Also, you don’t want to be the idiot that has to wake your neighbor the whole time to go visit the small cubicle. And some stewardesses have nice legs; I gladly exchange the lights outside for this view. I also have a really small bladder and it only takes one latte to fill up the tank.
  
• Weigh your bags at home. It is very annoying to always do some rearranging at the airport. You just see jocks and all flying… not a pretty sight! What about that overweight dude, shouldn’t there be more weight restrictions on his bags/him?
  
• Take someone’s baby with you when checking in, that's if you don’t have your own. You will always be helped sooner at the Business class even though you fly economy.
  
• Always greet the person next to you. Or don't and be uncomfortable for the rest of the flight. It is going to be a long flight!!!
  
• Take a credit card or travelers checks when travelling. You never know if the country you are entering will exchange your foreign currency. You might just end up with a couple of thousand Rand with which you can do absolutely nothing.
  
• When there is a whole 4seater open… go for it. On the plane it is every man and woman for themselves. A 4seater bed is still better than a Business class chair!!
• While checking in your baggage, tell a couple with a baby that you hope you will not be sitting close to them as babies love crying on planes. Only to find yourself sitting right behind them and both of them just giving you a smile.

(Linfen, Shanxi Province, China)